Falling Star

As I was driving across the NM and AZ border, alone and lost in thought; I saw a bright falling star. The kind of falling star that takes your breathe away as you count 1, 2, 3.... The perfect wishing kind of falling star.

Since I had just been reflecting on my life and trying to figure things out, you'd think making a wish would be easy. However, instead I was speechless. I couldn't think of what to wish for in my life.

It is either very sad I've become so lost I don't even have hopes and dreams to wish for, or I am very blessed that I have nothing to wish for.

I think it is a little of both. My age has taught me that you have to work hard in life to appreciate things, but like so many I don't know what to put my energy into anymore.

So the "falling star" I saw was just a falling star... Not a wishing star.

Ups and downs

Today was punctuated with moments of acute sadness. I had to work hard to find joy and purpose. I didn't really do that but getting a few little things done reminded me I am still capable. Right now my life is one of existence. I am here because I am and don't know where to go or what to do. Most people think there is "meaning" behind why things happen. I even had a few moments today. When most desperate the phone rang... First my Aunt who needs me... Then a second call... My dad who needs me. So although it is not what I planned, it is my purpose for now to be there with them, if I choose to believe it was a sign.

Bad luck

Ever feel like ur stuck in a rut of bad luck? Not like your house is hit by a tornado twice but like your life peaked and your on a slow decent to nothing...