My garden

There was more clay than dirt when I planted my garden today. I planted tomatoes, green chili, jalapenos, and onions. There is no soil here in the desert.

I am not sure what will kill my garden first... the clay choking their roots or the sun baking their leaves in the 110 degree heat.

However, I had to try. I wanted something to take care since there are no people around and I am not ready for a dog.

This way, if my garden thrives, my hard work with the pick, shovel, and hoe will have paid off. I hope I got a tan and I slaved away in a bathing suit top. However, I don't think I helped my cold/ear infection very much. I am exhausted now.

Well, if all my plants die, at least I got rid of those two random pieces of sod in my backyard. :-)

Ice Cream for Breakfast

I was too lazy to cook this morning and I didn't have milk for cereal so, I ate ice cream for breakfast. It was pretty good, Chocolate Chip right out of the carton. I didn't even dirty a dish other than my spoon. Maybe there are some perks to living alone and not having to share my ice cream with anyone.

:-)

Given up on true love: I want a husband

There was a survey cited on TV that indicated that more men are remaining lifelong bachelors. According to this survey...

"Eight percent who never want to marry, 62 percent want to marry, but half of them won't settle for less than perfection and about 30 percent who are on the fence." (http://www.ksdk.com/includes/tools/print.aspx?storyid=147538).

All I can say is, GUYS GET OVER IT! Women have been settling for less than perfection for centuries. Marriage isn't perfect. It is hard, and sucks at times. It is work everyday, and there are going to be more times than you want that you wonder if it is worth it. Both sides will wonder this. Marriage is what makes you work through it because your life is better with that person in it. That person makes you want to be better (most of the time). That person makes you happy (most of the time). That person is who you want to talk to or see everyday, when you are happy. It is really about what your life would lack without that person in it.

Perfection? Whatever, get over yourselves. It is because of this stupid survey and stupid men who are afraid to work that hard that I really have given up on "love". With odds like that... women again have to settle for someone who wants to be a husband. So... here it is. I have given up on "true" love, I want a husband, I want "real" love.

The movies alone

So, before my break-up I told my significant other that I wanted to see "Iron Man." He didn't want to see it but said he would take me. I didn't want to make him, but now I wish I had because I still haven't seen the movie.

I wish I had a date tonight to go see it. I think I am going to act like my mom and just go by myself.

How depressing, I am 26, single, and have to see movies alone.

Do yout think going to a movie alone on a Friday night is more depressing?
Or spending a Friday night at home alone because you don't have a date?

I wanted to call...

So I really really really wanted to call the "ex" today. I wanted to tell him, that Sonic has $0.99 cent shakes. He loves icecream, and he LOVES shakes.

Unfortunately, I still think of those little things.

However, I was STRONG! I didn't call him! :-)

Dare I say "Progress?"

8 hours on the couch

So it was Tuesday... I went to the Doctor and found out I have an ear infection. I started driving to work after picking up my prescription, and was talking to my mom. Before I knew it, I was crying. Don't ask me why. It has to be a combination of being sick, depressed, and tired, so I decided to call in and go home.

Well, there I was sitting on my couch. I was there at least 8 hours. I slept a little, ate a little, had lots of water, a full bottle of cranberry juice, and caught up on 6 episodes of Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy.

Did you know it is possible to spend 8 hours on a couch? I am so glad my Aunt and Uncle got me a house warming gift. I am definitely using it.

Oh, I wish I was back on my couch. However, today I would definitely do more sleeping than anything else.

So tired... I don't even want to breath.

Have you ever been so drained and tired that breathing seems to take effort? I find myself holding my breath for extended periods of time so that it isn't so much constant effort. Then I take a few deep breaths and start again.

It is almost like I have to force myself to breath. Do you think this is from my ear infection/sinus infection? Or do you think I am depressed and life it just tiring...

If we all had friends like this..

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/16479379/detail.html

How do grown-ups get ear infections?

Okay, so it turns out this "cold" I have (my first one is 3 years) is technically an ear infection with the beginnings of a sinus infection.

What!?! The last time I had an ear infection, I was like 10 and I remember taking pink bubblegum tasting amoxicillin.

Unfortunately, no pink amoxicillin this time. Instead I was given a big bottle of horse sized pills to take for the next 10 days, a stuffy ear, and exhaustion. (I don't remember an ear infection making me this tired before.)

But man oh man... I used to love that amoxicillin... maybe next time I will ask for it. That is, if I ever get an ear infection again. Seriously, we never grow up.

He's just not that into you - the movie

So like nearly have the female population in America, I went to see the Sex in the City movie this weekend. It was a ton of fun. I laughed, I cried, because I am a girl and the story line so nearly mirrored my own... however, the movie had closure (I don't want to give any spoilers). My own story had closure as well... but it isn't the same in real life.

Anyway, the important part, there is going to be a movie based on the book "He's just not that into you.' I am way excited, and will have to see it. Not a moment too soon. :-)

My bible... time to find it again.

One plate... one glass... one person.

So my mom and I got in a debate...

I am pretty successful; I have a degree (2 of them), I have a good job, I have my own house...but I just had a bad break-up (I seem to have those). The one part of my life I am no good at... is my personal life.

I have friends, and I don't think people hate hanging out with me. I just can't seem to get the guy thing down...

Therefore, my new house is a little depressing; each night, there is one plate, one glass, one person.

My mom said, she would trade me lives in an instant. She implied that husbands and marriage are so hard and unrewarding, to which I countered, yeah but forgetting to eat because you don't want to see one plate and one glass is depressing. I guess we can't see each other's perspective. I haven't been married for 25 years, but she's never been single and living alone. Besides, I think after being in a relationship for 3 years, the ups and downs, and the fighting tooth and nail to stay together, was pretty much marriage... he just didn't have the guts to show up to a ceremony.

Zip cars

I just heard on your local news there is a new concept being marketed as an alternative to owning a car. It was called "Zip Cars" in tempe.

It looks pretty cool, and you can even get fancier cars for special events.

You can read more about it here: https://www.zipcar.com/z2b/contact/

What do you think? Is it a good idea?

I don't know how to use a spoon.

Okay, since I no longer have my partner to tell these odd ideas that pop into my head you all get to hear them and I get to pretend to listen.

I realized today that I don't know how to really use a spoon. I mean I do, but I hate the way it is designed. If you use a spoon the right way, it is pretty hard to get all of the food off without biting down on the spoon or something else (which I haven't quite figured out).

However, I hate biting on silverware. When people's teeth slide across the silverware, it is worse than nails on a chalkboard in my opinion.

I suddenly realized today, that I never really thought about it, but I tend to use a spoon backwards! Particularly for substances that are sticky like ice cream, yogurt, oatmeal, and peanut butter (yes, I eat it out of the jar, sometimes).

It is so much easier to lick off the all of the food and for some reason it just feels like the spoon fits your mouth better.

Pay attention next time you eat sticky stuff off a spoon. Do you keep the spoon up and down as you would when you are scooping up soup? Or do you rotate the handle downward so that the spoon's underside is facing the roof of your mouth and back of your front teeth so it is like a lollipop?

With patience and preserverance you will get what you want

This is an update on the passport rant I had ever so long ago. Well, 22 months later, my mom finally has a passport. We don't know why, since they essentially told her she was a stolen Mexican baby so she wouldn't get a passport (though this was completely false).

However, she has it. We better head across the boarder soon to make sure it works. :-)

A new beginning

Once again I try to make a new start to life. Funny thing is, I start it with a cold. I haven't been sick in at least 3 years. I forgot how miserable it is.

I am starting to think that I need to change the name of my blog, because I am not sure I have really learned many lessons in life. I tend to make the same mistakes over and over. I wonder if many are destined to repeat their mistakes because it is something more innated and ingrained in our personalities.

How many times does it take until you learn your lesson?

I am tired now. Good night.

Moving on...

I hate moving on. I hate it because you have to leave something behind and in doing so you leave a piece of you, a piece of your innocence behind as well. You usually leave those things you fight so desparately to keep behind... There are going to be a lot of changes in my life. I avoided them for some time, holding on and hoping. However, I think I secretly knew that it was all a pipe dream.

I think more than anything, moving on is just emotionally taxing. It is something you have to do, even though you don't want to and that is what makes it so tiring.

I think that is why I hate dating. Why most people hate working. Why death is so hard, and rejection the worst. The less control you have... the less choice you have... the harder it is to do, even when necessary. But you step forward. You just have to do it... you just have to do it. And with time, you just do it without thinking about it... you just keep moving and eventually forget where you were until you take the time to think about it. Yeah, you just have to do it. It is time for me to just do it. I already took one step. Tomorrow will be another. And right now, I can't think past that.