I am single!

The phone rings, I have email, and plans for Saturday night. It always amazes me how the instant you become single, guys who you haven't spoken to in months are suddenly very attentive. Do girls give of a scent or something that says, "Here I am, I am free again. You weren't able to get with me then but now is your chance, let the games begin."

I guess I don't give the "right" guys enough credit or I definitely play this game all wrong by betting on the wrong ones. And guys wonder why girls go after the bad boys, or at least were at one time a "bad boy." It is because going with the nice guy, the good guy, is the bigger gamble. You go in hoping, wanting, thinking, and feeling like this is the one, only to learn they haven't lived enough life to make that decision. Dating the "bad boy" upfront means you expect absolutely nothing but maybe a few dates, some decent sex, and only as much work as you put into it. You don't ever have expectations so when it is a few days, weeks, months down the road, you say, "Wow! I didn't expect this to last this long. Oh well, it is fun." And make sure it stays that way. Nice guys don't know how to make sure things remain just for fun... they confuse the issue and then confuse the girl.

Every girl is looking for commitment if she is in any kind of relationship. She is looking for commitment to the relationship that your supposed to have with that kind of person. It is when that person doesn't want that role that things go wrong. Bad boys are flings, nice guys are LTR, hot guys are arm jewelry and eye candy, nerds are for intellectual stimulation, the one-night stand is strictly for sex. Girls are just like guys. You know there are those girls you would take home for the night, the girls you would hang out with, the girl you take home to mom and dad, and the girls you run and hide from. So my advice, have fun while your young with the bad boys. Wait for the nice guy to come to you, so you are certain he is invested. Hot guys are nice for a weekend in Vegas or to make your friends jealous. Nerds are great and should never be ruled out!

Still breathing...

Your chest tightens -- I guess that is the best way to describe it -- and your heart starts to ache. You think it has skipped a beat and for a moment and you almost hope it stops, because then everything stops. But your heart keeps beating, your chest tightens a little more, your heart swells, and you find yourself sighing with relief. A long sigh, but you aren't sure if it is from relief or sorry. Maybe I am referring to becoming overwhelmed with emotion. It seems to come so unexpectedly... and you don't realize it is happening until the moment before you sign. When you realize you were holding your breath . Your heart still aches a little... not so much with pain you realize, but with grief. It is bitter sweet to let go... let go of what used to be a part of you. Even though it is painful, you realize with each sigh that you are still breathing and life goes on. I guess the secret is to keep breathing through the pain, sorrow and grief. Breathing is not only sorrow but joy and happiness too. Breathing is life so I am still breathing if only barely.

I am such a country sap, but sometimes the songs say just how I feel or felt

Artist/Band: Shelton Blake
Lyrics for Song: Don't Make Me
Lyrics for Album: New Songs

Girl when I look at you
You look through me Like I’m not even there
I’m trying not to give up
To be strong but I’m afraid to say I’m scared
I can’t find the place your heart is hiding
& I’m no quitter but I’m tired of fighting

Baby I love you Don’t wanna lose you
Don’t make me let you go
Took such a long time
For me to find you
Don’t make me let you go
Baby I’m begging please & I’m down here on my knees
I don’t wanna have to set you free
Don’t make me

What if when I’m long gone
It dawns on you You just might want me back
Let me make myself clear
If I leave here
Its done I’m gone that’s that
You carry my love aroundLike it’s a heavy burden
Well I’m about to take it back

Are you sure its worth it Baby I love you Don’t wanna lose you
Don’t make me let you go
Took such a long time
For me to find you Don’t make me let you go
Baby I’m begging please & I’m down here on my knees
I don’t wanna have to set you free
Don’t make me
Baby I’m begging please & I’m down here on my knees
I don’t wanna have to set you free
Don’t make me
Don’t make me
Stop loving you
Stop needing you

What type of person do you attract?

Saw this on Jezzy's blog and had to try it... all I can say is,

I attract what!?!

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract geeks! Your stunning intellect and love of sci-fi and video games allures the geeks like nothing else. Maybe it is the sparkle in your eye that makes them want to text you, who knows. Geeks make good partners, but tend to be arguementative. If you are a TRUE geek magnet, you will know if that was spelled correctly, and actually care. If it is a bad-boy/bad-girl you are seeking, you are barking up the wrong tree, unless they are just 'bad' behind a PS2 console.
You attract Yuppies!
You attract artsy people!
You attract unstable people!
You attract models!
You attract rednecks!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

Frustrating: Easier to get a new boyfriend than to find some girl friends to hang out with

Frustrating: Easier to get a new boyfriend than to find some girl friends to hang out with

I don't want another boyfriend right now, they are too much work. It is interesting though to see that there are so many tools in place to help you find one. Match.com, Eharmony.com, personal ads in the newspaper, craigslist personals, online chatting, etc. However, there are very few tools available to help you find some friends to hang out with, especially of the same sex.

So the LTR thing didn't work out and I am told I can't get into a new relationship anytime soon. My mom gave me a darn plant and told me I have to take care of it for a year before I can get a new boyfriend. So we compromised and I said if I don't kill the plant in two months I am set.

Well I am really regretting that darn compromise. After months of working at something and giving up a part of yourself, I kind of want to be selfish and just go out and have fun. Well, all my girlfriends are in serious relationships, married, have kids, or live out in the middle of no where (at least my friends in the state). I can't afford to fly out every weekend to visit my other friends who aren't married and don't have kids. Thinking about this depresses me.

It makes me feel somewhat pathetic to think that because I haven't fallen into the stereotype of married with kids that I don't have friends to go on adventures with. Come on, there have to be some drama free, independent, successful, driven, fun, well-rounded young women out there to hang out with. If not, then maybe I am the failure because I can't find someone to help me fit the stereotype.

Perhaps instead I have identified a new niche for a business. Professionals are busy and need a convenient efficient way to locate people that may make good potential friends. Especially in a place where people live so far apart and busy professionals don't have time to network outside of work. I don't want to make my co-workers my friends, I see them 40 hours a week. I want other people with home I can talk about other things such as politics, religion, music, make sexual jokes with and not risk getting fired for it. I am on a mission, to find new friends/people to hang out with. If that fails, I may be resolved to just settling for a new boyfriend instead.

Commentary: What would Jesus really do? By Roland Martin CNN Contributor

Commentary: What would Jesus really do?

By Roland Martin

My take on it...

So much to talk about and no one there to debate with...I read this article a couple of days ago and it made me feel ashamed. I know I am not the most devout Catholic and I question my faith constantly. I felt so ashamed because part of why I have such issue with my religion is because of the two issues Roland cites, abortion and homosexuality.

I felt so ashamed because I, as a Christian, have neglected to do my part to draw attention to the other probably more important issues our society faces. The issues we can actually do something about by taking action. Abortion and homosexuality are personal preference and why there is so much disagreement. The other issues of homelessness and poverty are results of more important social issues such as domestic abuse, mental illness, unemployment, rising cost of health care, hunger, etc. The things that we can address and do something about to show love for our neighbor.

Regardless of my religious affiliation, my devotion to the church... it is time for me to renew my faith in God and his teachings by walking the walk and trying to make this world a better place.

Please read Roland Martin's article at: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/04/martin.jesus/index.html?eref=rss_topstories