September 2006: 911 five years later

Yes, one more thing about 9/11. If you are an American and reading this post you know exactly what I am talking about. On the evening of 9/11 I went to a memorial because I felt I was obligated to. I also wanted to see a physical representation of how many people were lost during the four terrorist attacks in America. I thought I would feel extremely solemn and moved when I arrived at the memorial. I thought it would be a little erie with the moon fading in and out of the clouds and the construction crane a high shadow falling across the lawn. But instead, I was dull. I don't know if I should feel guilty but I changed the channel all day long whether it was on the radio, TV, or even in surfing the net. I just didn't want to hear about it. I guess I avoided it. I know how sad it is, and though it has been five years I know it is a wound that has in no way healed for some. I can't imagine what New Yorkers felt that day and like the generation before us who know exactly where they were when JFK was shot, I can recall vividly the morning and moment the "towers fell". It is funny in that I wasn't quite surprised we were finally attacked and we only have a taste of what others live with everyday. I don't want to say we got what we deserved, I don't feel that way at all! I wish it had never happened and it saddens me that man-kind is capable of hurting so many others. As a psychology major and with the teachings of social psychology I know that everyone and anyone is capable of the same thing if they believe they are doing the right thing, if they believe they are protecting something... I don't know. I don't have the answers! I don't think anyone does! When I think about it, all I want to do is run home to my mom and dad and live my life out among a small group of people in the mountains secluded from the rest of the world. I wish I knew... I wish I knew how to make it better... to make a difference... does anyone know?