A restless night in bed usually means that something is going to happen the next day... at least for me. I must admit that I can't determine in advance if my "feelings" mean that it is something good or bad that is going to happen... but last night I tossed and turned with only two names on my mind, Ben and my Grandma. I spent all day on pins and needles wondering what was going to happen to them. Well I can't help but say that I was a little relieved when I heard one person was having a bad day because I thought I was in the clear and that was as bad as it was going to get. Eghhh! Wrong answer..... why do we tempt fate? I had to go and hope/think that was it, that it was all okay from there. I guess I should have known better when something still irked me. Well of course I got one of those mom phone calls today... so I knew right away that my "feeling" was still there for a reason. See my mom's gives me these phone calls that start out... Hi Sobie, I just wanted you to know.... or Hey Sobe, are your sister and mark there... or Hi Sobie, I need to tell you something .... Well, I automatically know something is not right.... Things aren't wrong, but they're not right. Well, I got one today... I think I knew all along this was coming. I think we all knew all along. I think I was better prepared than most, and yet... I am still overwhelmed by the news. I am okay... and it doens't mean I have given up hope... but... I guess it is like I told my mom, we just gotta take it one day at a time. So the truth of the matter is.... my Grandma is not well and probably never will be again. It is really strange, I am sad and when the time comes I will be devastated. But right now, I am okay... I'm okay because I would rather my grandma not suffer, not be in pain. I am okay because she has lived one of the most amazing lives I have ever known. She raised an amazing family, has unshakable faith, loves without regard, knows how to forgive, and worked hard her entire life. The only thing I am sad about, is that the end isn't easy and stressfree. I guess I need to realize that God has a plan for everyone. 
