Monday, December 19, 2005
Super Cop
Now I know I am long gone in love... because I am filled with fear when you don't call me. I am not scared because I think you don't care about me... I am afraid because I care about you. I am filled with fear that something has happened to you. I watch the news now, not to know what is going on in the area but to make sure you aren't on it. My concentration is gone until I know you have ended the day safely. Not that I don't trust you know how to do your job, I have evidence that you are a good cop or even a super cop ( As demonstrated by your ability to single-handedly arrest 8 people all alone). Everyone around you has nothing but praise and confidence in the way you handle things. And I know I feel safe when I am with you... but it is an eerie feeling not knowing and waiting... just waiting... waiting for the phone to ring and to hear your voice and know it is all alright, you made it through another day. Waiting to know that it is going to be okay and that the selfish part of me will be satisfied because I will get to see you again... just waiting for you... well I will get over it. It is just a phase... right?
Sunday, December 18, 2005
"Love is in the details" -- CJQ
Many people like to think about the big things, politics, good, bad, heaven, the afterlife, love, marriage, etc. My little brother isn't really one of them. He is quite intelligent and maybe that is why he avoids those subjects because he knows he can't come up with the "right" answer. However, just yesterday I got a text from someone trying to define love. He said:
"Maybe Love is just a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and
everyone else, but maybe not. Maybe it's (love) not an exaggeration, maybe the
difference is reality."
Now I had to think about this for awhile... I wasn't sure how to take it. I took it to mean that perhaps one way to tell you are "in love" with someone is that when you are "in love" you think they are just soooo much better than anyone else in the world. You see only the good or their good qualities are exaggerated to near perfection... meaning love gives you a biased lens with which to view that person in comparison to the rest of the world. However, I am not sure if my friend changed their mind by saying maybe it isn't an exaggeration but reality ( I think this actually comes from our conversations about constructing reality and getting into the complicated subject of personal perspective from a psychological viewpoint), because if a person believes something to be true and perceives it that way, who is to say they are wrong. Someone may see it differently or see evidence to contradict a person's conclusions about another. However, unlike science, when dealing with people showing that someone is capable of doing "bad" or the opposite of what they usually do, doesn't "define" who that person is.
Back to my little brother... I was curious, he is 17 and one of the most easy going people I know, so I asked him. How do you know you love someone? And... how can you tell the difference between loving me, your sister, and loving a girlfriend? We went in circles for awhile and then he said: "well, love is in the details" and he proceeded to list how the little things are what makes the difference. He also told me that there probably isn't really a difference when loving family and loving a significant other because you are trying or want to make that person part of your family.
I was blown away! My 17 year old brother probably helped me (a 23 yr old) figure out what love is. I know I have been in love and I have ideas of how it should feel, look like, and be... but sometimes hearing it from someone else who isn't as experience and maybe a little naive helps you realize it really is that simple we just complicate it as we get older.
Now love is in the details, and you probably do different things with different people to show you love them. But the essence of what love isn't different from person to person, it is simply details.
"Maybe Love is just a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and
everyone else, but maybe not. Maybe it's (love) not an exaggeration, maybe the
difference is reality."
Now I had to think about this for awhile... I wasn't sure how to take it. I took it to mean that perhaps one way to tell you are "in love" with someone is that when you are "in love" you think they are just soooo much better than anyone else in the world. You see only the good or their good qualities are exaggerated to near perfection... meaning love gives you a biased lens with which to view that person in comparison to the rest of the world. However, I am not sure if my friend changed their mind by saying maybe it isn't an exaggeration but reality ( I think this actually comes from our conversations about constructing reality and getting into the complicated subject of personal perspective from a psychological viewpoint), because if a person believes something to be true and perceives it that way, who is to say they are wrong. Someone may see it differently or see evidence to contradict a person's conclusions about another. However, unlike science, when dealing with people showing that someone is capable of doing "bad" or the opposite of what they usually do, doesn't "define" who that person is.
Back to my little brother... I was curious, he is 17 and one of the most easy going people I know, so I asked him. How do you know you love someone? And... how can you tell the difference between loving me, your sister, and loving a girlfriend? We went in circles for awhile and then he said: "well, love is in the details" and he proceeded to list how the little things are what makes the difference. He also told me that there probably isn't really a difference when loving family and loving a significant other because you are trying or want to make that person part of your family.
I was blown away! My 17 year old brother probably helped me (a 23 yr old) figure out what love is. I know I have been in love and I have ideas of how it should feel, look like, and be... but sometimes hearing it from someone else who isn't as experience and maybe a little naive helps you realize it really is that simple we just complicate it as we get older.
Now love is in the details, and you probably do different things with different people to show you love them. But the essence of what love isn't different from person to person, it is simply details.
Ispiration
How many times do you run across someone in life who really loves what they do for a living? I think it is rare. Yes, everyone has their ups and downs, but those people who still wake up each morning and are glad they get to go to work and make a difference in the world are far and few between. Maybe it is because I am young, maybe it is because he is young. Call it youth, innocence, energy, naivete, call it whatever you want, but those people can change lives. Believing when no one else does, pushing forward when it may appear hopeless...
They inspire me and I will admit I am jealous and envious. If only I could "figure it out" for a little while to be filled with the zeal to just go and do it! To be fearless and go out and try to arrest 8 people by myself. Know when to and when not to pull the trigger. To force myself to make good decisions everyday. To find a reason for doing something when there doesn't seem to be one.
I will eventually, I am still young and naive enough. The world is not so out of reach. Until then, know that you inspire me super cop and for that I am thankful.
They inspire me and I will admit I am jealous and envious. If only I could "figure it out" for a little while to be filled with the zeal to just go and do it! To be fearless and go out and try to arrest 8 people by myself. Know when to and when not to pull the trigger. To force myself to make good decisions everyday. To find a reason for doing something when there doesn't seem to be one.
I will eventually, I am still young and naive enough. The world is not so out of reach. Until then, know that you inspire me super cop and for that I am thankful.
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