What luck or lack there of....

Okay I give up. All my friends tell me that most if not all guys are interested in sex. 99% of them wouldn't mind a hook-up. 9 out of 10 would go for having just a sexual relationship. I was told if you call someone to hang out at like 1am they would get the hint... Then tell me why I find the 1% that doesn't want to just have sex or will even make a move to just have some fun!!!! I don't get it. I have one guy tell me he can't see me as long term when he was perfect for a relationship.... and then these guys I want to use for sex only want to date and hang out before moving to that level.... I don't get it!!!! Guys are so f-ing confusing. They only want what they can't have!!!! If you want them they don't want you... If you want sex they want a relationship... Man... I am this close to being a Lesbian... :-p

Quickfix for a broken heart: determination to find my own life

There is no quickfix for a broken heart. I thought by going home I could put a big bandaid across my shattered heart and piece it back together but it didn't really help, instead it made me realize that I don't even have a place to go home to because I don't know what I want to do. Instead of finding peace I faced more questions. I know my family is trying to help and they want to heal my wounds, but the joking and laughing only puts salt on the still fresh cuts. I am okay now. I need to move forward. I can handle living my life alone, but I need to chose it and feel secure and free in what I choose. No more slacking.... If I don't like where I am I need to stop complaining and do something about it. So with a shattered heart, now for more than just some stupid boy... I realize I need to go on by myself and figure out how to get what I want. I give myself two years... In two years I want to be a teacher in a high school, have a house, an SUV, Kayak, Lab, and snowboard.... Is that a lot to ask for?