Missing my sis: Halfway around the world.

Halfway around the world, in a place that is 12 hours ahead of my timezone is where my sister is. We no longer are roommates, but I really miss her all the same. We have only lived apart for about four months now, but it is odd to think she is so far away and it will be 3 months before we go shopping together or share a drink.

However, I am so proud of her. She is 24 years old and doing amazing things. She was always the one who could do anything and never needed anyone to tell her so. She is brave and so strong. I know she will be homesick, but it won't stop her from impressing everyone with her skill and personality.

It is a little scary though... she is in a part of the world that is not known for its equal treatment of women, but who knows, she may just change that thinking if only among her colleagues. :-)

Go Trish!

Stripper Pink nailpolish

I was practicing some retail therapy and decided to buy some nail polish. I was trying to match the one that was chipped on my fingers to "fix-up" my manicure. I found a color that matched pretty well, but I guess the color I painted over "toned" it down because last night I took off all the nail polish and redid my nails. Well, my new color is what I call Stripper Pink. It is outrageous. I like it, but I feel like a stripper, prostitute, or something. It just goes "Pow! Look at me and guess what I do. "

It is almost an out of body sensation to watch my fingers on the keyboard, I am like, are those my hands. I will try to post a picture later.

Self-inflicted pain

I know I do it to myself, and I brought it upon myself, but I broke my heart again. I found out yesterday that he "returned" the ring. I was going to offer to buy it to take it off his hands, so that I could have a memento... but I found out he returned it. So, me being the silly girl I am... I was devastated. To me, as long as that ring existed, as long as he kept it, there was a chance that he really meant it when he proposed. However, now that he took the ring back, he took everything back. He took back the promise he made and the love he supposedly had for me. He took it back. I feel like an 8-year old and want to scream "no take backs!"

I just kept repeating to myself... he took it back, he took it back. He took it back. I am so jealous that he could just "take back" all those promises and all those feelings. That he could "return" it and now it never happened.

It is good though, because now it shows me that I was holding on to nothing, especially since he lied to me a couple months ago when I asked him if he ever took the ring back. He didn't tell me then, when we were trying to work things out... that he had already "taken it back" and he wasn't holding on to any promise.

That is me, the naive girl... the one who hopes until there is no hope left. Maybe now, this is enough proof that there is no hope.