Tired

Sit still for a minute. Just sit... sit on the couch or on the floor. Sit back... don't think just sit. It is easier to do this when you are exhausted.

Your mind will actually be blank and you don't think about anything. I think this is why when people are stressed they don't sleep... it is the bodies way of forcing to a state where they can no longer think.

I am trying it... thus I am staying up until midnight every night and get up at 5am. :-) I think I am going to crash later this week... but it will be okay. It helped me get through the week.

Jealous, envious, social climber

I've decided that I am not much more than a jealous, envious, social climber. It seems that everyone around me is getting married, and found the one. That is great, right? I should be happy for them, right? Instead, I am so bitter, jealous, and envious that it frustrates me.

I think I am a pretty good catch, so how come the one I love doesn't want to be with me. It makes me so jealous that so many girls find someone who wants to be with them, have babies, and deal with them everyday (because really girls, I think we are drama). Why don't I have someone chasing after me and waiting to tie me down and "claim" me as their prize?

I envy that they have someone, that they get to wear the dress, and have their families gaze at them and think of the wonder and happiness you feel, if only for that day because the rest of your life is going to be hard work trying to keep it all together.

So what makes me a social climber... well now that I am single, and I have been looking and have been hit on when I go out... no one is good enough. They just bug me. It is like they are so dumb. Your teeth are really white... you look hot... "what are you up to?" (Obviously I am here dancing, it is a club... )

I guess I just figure, since I can't marry for love (that didn't work out) I may as well marry for money, looks, or status. That makes me a social climber right?

So there you have it, I am jealous, envious and a social climber. I guess right now, I am nothing more than a bitch.

Guys, stay away... I am going to tell it to you like it is. If you aren't smooth, I am going to roll my eyes. If you are stupid, I'm not going to find it funny...I'm going to tell you. If you are inconsiderate, I will be too. I'm not going to make you feel good about yourself if you don't deserve it. Forget that, that is all I tried to do... and the second I stopped cuz I was tired and wanted someone to help me feel good about myself... he left.

I don't have time to waste anymore. I did enough of that. So, I am going to be alone and bitter for awhile... thus making me more jealous, envious, and mean. Then I will get older, and meaner, and eventually will have to accept, I am going to be the mean old crazy cat lady.

Damn it, I knew I should have been a nun!

Too many websites

So I am sick of it... I have a myspace page with picture albums, a facebook page with picture albums , a gmail account with picasa albums, why can't it all be connected and in one place. I get lazy and don't update everything or never figure out how it actually works... and then then I fee guilty because everyone doesn't get to see the same thing! Come on technology, make it easy! I am not for monopolies, but it would be nice in this case so that I could keep in touch with everyone more efficiently, isn't that what the Internet is supposed to do, increase efficiency and access to information?