Monday, September 10, 2007
Moments of weakness
This weekend was a hard one. I stayed busy, but I had many moments of weakness. I think it is because I haven't slept much. I will try again tonight. :-) Tomorrow will be a better day!
Sunday, September 09, 2007
A night on the town: margaritas, gay bars, Irish bars, drunk guys and still no rebound
Going from bar to bar, and place to place always makes a night interesting. It was kind of a trip down memory lane. About two and a half years ago I used to do this nearly every night from Wednesday to Saturday. I was a wild thing. Random bar, random drinks, random guys.
I went up to the "posh" part of town a lot this weekend, first I went to HH with a bunch of co-workers on Friday it was fun... but the real fun was on Saturday night.
Saturday night I met up with a girl I met online to hang out for a birthday party. It was fun. We started at a casual bar, chatting and getting to know everyone. I had a Margarita. Well, actually I only drank half of it because I felt sick to my stomach, I guess I can't handle any alcohol anymore. It is all good though because I have tons of fun.
After that, we headed to a gay bar. It was my first gay bar. I have to say it was a blast! I think some of the guys were throwing me mercy comments, but hey if a guy tells you that you are so hot, that if he was straight, he would be trying to take you home. Yeah, it definitely boosts your confidence. Even if they are just being nice.
Then I headed back to the college part of town. I went to an infamous Irish bar where I have met many a random hook-up and one really really bad kisser. :-) It was loud and reeked of alcohol. I walked in the door and was like, whoa... tons of the school fans were there following the football game. I wasn't there long when I found my sister and the boys and we decided to head to the main drag. We broke into the parking garage and headed to another Irish pub. The guys we were with, were over the top drunk. It is funny, and they are lucky I consider them friends, otherwise I would have had to sock them and call the cops for sexual assault. I love it how drunk guys think it is okay to grab and slap your ass. I don't' get it! Anyway, I didn't stay with them long. I contemplated going to my old "dancing" spot but I am just so old already, I am passed all the immature drunk fake blond fake boobed college girls. Maybe it is too much competition, but... why set yourself up for defeat and failure? I'll stick to the gay guys for awhile. :-)
So after all that partying, I still went home alone. I didn't find a rebound guy in all those places. I was both sad and proud of myself. I went out on the town by myself, meeting up with others, but... by myself. And I came home alone. I didn't give in to desperation, or loneliness. I definitely felt it today, but it was the smart thing and it was the better thing to do. But, I know it is partially because I am still holding on. I guess when I go out and find that rebound guy, and am able to have a rebound, I will hopefully be able to let go and instead of just being here, I will move forward, not on... just forward.
I went up to the "posh" part of town a lot this weekend, first I went to HH with a bunch of co-workers on Friday it was fun... but the real fun was on Saturday night.
Saturday night I met up with a girl I met online to hang out for a birthday party. It was fun. We started at a casual bar, chatting and getting to know everyone. I had a Margarita. Well, actually I only drank half of it because I felt sick to my stomach, I guess I can't handle any alcohol anymore. It is all good though because I have tons of fun.
After that, we headed to a gay bar. It was my first gay bar. I have to say it was a blast! I think some of the guys were throwing me mercy comments, but hey if a guy tells you that you are so hot, that if he was straight, he would be trying to take you home. Yeah, it definitely boosts your confidence. Even if they are just being nice.
Then I headed back to the college part of town. I went to an infamous Irish bar where I have met many a random hook-up and one really really bad kisser. :-) It was loud and reeked of alcohol. I walked in the door and was like, whoa... tons of the school fans were there following the football game. I wasn't there long when I found my sister and the boys and we decided to head to the main drag. We broke into the parking garage and headed to another Irish pub. The guys we were with, were over the top drunk. It is funny, and they are lucky I consider them friends, otherwise I would have had to sock them and call the cops for sexual assault. I love it how drunk guys think it is okay to grab and slap your ass. I don't' get it! Anyway, I didn't stay with them long. I contemplated going to my old "dancing" spot but I am just so old already, I am passed all the immature drunk fake blond fake boobed college girls. Maybe it is too much competition, but... why set yourself up for defeat and failure? I'll stick to the gay guys for awhile. :-)
So after all that partying, I still went home alone. I didn't find a rebound guy in all those places. I was both sad and proud of myself. I went out on the town by myself, meeting up with others, but... by myself. And I came home alone. I didn't give in to desperation, or loneliness. I definitely felt it today, but it was the smart thing and it was the better thing to do. But, I know it is partially because I am still holding on. I guess when I go out and find that rebound guy, and am able to have a rebound, I will hopefully be able to let go and instead of just being here, I will move forward, not on... just forward.
One drink too many...
Sorry everyone but I am too drunk, tired, and feeling ill to write something with length tonight... also, it is dark in my room and I am too lazy to get up for the lights so that I can update the daily wakeup call... so I will do that otmorrow too.
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