A busy weekend: I forgot I had a social life...

What a weekend!?! This past weekend was great. It was my friends birthday and even though the weekend was non-stop it was relaxing. We started by building up the hype all week long at work via e-mail chattin up where we were going and what we were going to wear...

Well our original plan went nowhere when the club we were planning to go to wound up to be closed. :) No problem. Instead we went to this hole in the wall bar that could have passed for one right off the beach of Mexico if there had been sand on the floor. It was a lot of fun dancing to music I didn't know and with guys I didn't know but mostly because they didn't expect anything from me. We closed the place at 2:30am and made the 40 minute drive back to my friends house where we decided we were hungry and needed to have breakfast. We drove 20 minutes to the nearest Denny's where I met Phyllis (my friend is on a first name basis with all his drunken nights) who gave us free desert at 4am. I

t was great, by the time we got back to her house it was 4:30. My guy friend and I fell asleep for about two hours before he got up not feeling well, of course being the friend I am I got up to make sure he was okay. Well we got back to bed a half hour later and slept another two hours before we woke up at 8:30am and talked for an hour about the night before and debated legalizing Marijuana. It was fun, his phone rang and the three of us, my guy friend, the birthday girl, and myself got up to go for a four hour float on tubes down the river. While they took showers I went for a run. It was perfect...

We hit the door at 10:30am stopped at the store and were on the river by 1pm. The four hour float was so relaxing... we hung out with the guys and just enjoyed the sun, the water, and the company. By the time we got back it was 5pm, I came home caught a quick nap and then hung out with my sister and her boyfriend. We watched two movies, "Along came Polly" and "The Aviator". (Recommend both just for fun)

Well at about 11:30pm my football boys called so I got ready in 20 minutes and hit the door for this funky bar called Casey Moore's. It was fun, stayed there about an hour before hitting a house party... So I showed my face then hit the road for home, arriving about 2 am. I knew I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning to go hiking. My professor friend called at 7am Sunday, I was ready to go, but when I told him about my night he said it wasn't a good idea to do this hike tired... we postponed and instead I rearranged and cleaned my room. Oh but the weekend wasn't over... my football boys called again and I hit the door Sunday night... What a great weekend! Who needs a boyfriend... they only take up your social time, unless he can keep up. :-)

How to know when you are over someone...

I know I am over someone when I stop hoping they will come back and start day dreaming about Mr. Right.

An Ideal Situation: Tug-o-war between the heart and the head

What do you want in a guy? What do you want in a relationship? What do you want out of life? Young adults think about these questions all the time, or at lease I do. Many feel they are easy questions because you get to answer them all on you own. They are completely subjective answers. The difficult part is what you want today may not be what you want in a few years.

Here is an example of an ideal situation but the timing is off. There is this man I have been “seeing”, I use this term loosely, for a couple of months now. He is 35, I am 23. He is perfect and would make a great long term partner. He is stable, secure, and a lot of fun. He is a college professor who is quite intelligent and cultured. We enjoy many of the same things: the theatre, cultural events, the outdoors, paddling/rowing, traveling, salsa dancing poorly and new experiences.

He is working on attainting his tenure, does consulting on the side, knows how to and does works hard. He has his own house and enjoys fixing it up. He would make a good husband and father. He is sweet, romantic, funny, gentle, and most importantly patient.

But…
I have never kissed him and many times when we get physically it feels weird. I don’t know think it is the age thing. My sister says it is because he isn’t that attractive, but I think it is because he has it all figured out and I am not there yet.

He knows what he wants in life and is getting it. I know I want to settle down, get married, and have kids but not right now. I need to still make a ton of mistakes and figure out who I am. I guess I want to be someone I can “grow” with. I want to be with someone who wants to figure things out with me. Someone who is still dreaming and wandering through life a little. Someone who still has doubts about their career and if they want kids or not. I want someone who wants to make those decisions with me. I know you make decisions in any relationship but, I want to be with someone who hasn’t has as much time to think about those things as this professor.

I want him to be secure and a hard worker until he figures things out. I want someone who wants to do things, spontaneously and be reckless occasionally. I want someone to fall in love with. I guess that is what really irks me about this situation. I know I could be okay, financially set, intellectually stimulated, emotionally stable, I don’t know if I could have kids with him yet, or ever be really passionate about our relationship. But, I can’t necessarily see myself with him in five years. I think the idea of security is very alluring, but I think I would get restless and want a change because he has a routine built into his life that he has kept for many years already.

I am stupid because if I were smart I would really give this guy a chance and see if I could fall in love with him. But something is holding me back. I think it is because I want a relationship where I can help my partner grow and become an amazing person thorugh support and I want them to support me and help me become an amazing person. I want us to be a part of each other’s successes and failures. So in the end, I am ruled by my heart.