My take on Hawaii....

Hello Friends, if anyone is listening... I have some friendly advice to offer on Hawaii. So far, Kauai is not the place to be if you are single and looking for adventure. Yes, there are supposedly hikes, waterfalls, and shopping, but none of which are fun if you are single and alone. This place is way way tooo slow for even a person who has been living in Santa Fe, NM the land of "manana" to be and have fun. I would be better off laying on a beach high on codine... There are supposedly hikes, but you have to drive there..... there are a lots of touristy things like surf lessona, helicopter riides, and what not, but at the end of the day you will end up at the bar taking to a timeshare salesman. :-) I can't wait to get to Oahu and hoepfuly have soem real fun...... The ocean ma not be perfect, but at least there are more living thing than crabs and crawish. :-)

What do do...

I need some advice...Four weeks and he's using four letter words... Fastest time before that a boy said it in 6 weeks and after 6 years it turned out it was a lie. How can you know so quickly? I guess if I don't know it isn't the same for me. I've told him I don't know...Question now...Do I wait to figure out how I feel or cut him loose? I don't want to lead anyone on if I'm not sure.

The art of waiting...

Look around at a restaurant or in a mall and you'll see people waiting... But you can't really tell because we are so plugged in that if a person has to wait more than 45 seconds the smart phone comes out and they are instantaneously entertained.

It makes me wonder how this has changed things. I was sitting here waiting without my phone out and I suddenly felt awkward. You start to feel like you are doing something wrong.

What happen ended to people watching? How much can you learn by watching? We watch tv to watch people... Why not do it live anymore?

Dating history and two references please

When you make big decisions in you life most things require a lot of paperwork. Buying a house, a car, or applying for a credit card a complete stranger reviews your life and your references. The same thing happens applying for a job; you supply a job history and personal references.

However the most important things people do in life are not scrutinized with paperwork. Anyone can make a baby when most of them shouldn't. There is no application, no background check... Nothing.

Another shocking decision is deciding to date someone. Sure in the world of online dating you have a profile, but its just advertising. Exaggerated and half truths. But there are no character references.

Would it be wrong to ask for a dating history and references? Or informative?

Something to think about...

Falling Star

As I was driving across the NM and AZ border, alone and lost in thought; I saw a bright falling star. The kind of falling star that takes your breathe away as you count 1, 2, 3.... The perfect wishing kind of falling star.

Since I had just been reflecting on my life and trying to figure things out, you'd think making a wish would be easy. However, instead I was speechless. I couldn't think of what to wish for in my life.

It is either very sad I've become so lost I don't even have hopes and dreams to wish for, or I am very blessed that I have nothing to wish for.

I think it is a little of both. My age has taught me that you have to work hard in life to appreciate things, but like so many I don't know what to put my energy into anymore.

So the "falling star" I saw was just a falling star... Not a wishing star.

Ups and downs

Today was punctuated with moments of acute sadness. I had to work hard to find joy and purpose. I didn't really do that but getting a few little things done reminded me I am still capable. Right now my life is one of existence. I am here because I am and don't know where to go or what to do. Most people think there is "meaning" behind why things happen. I even had a few moments today. When most desperate the phone rang... First my Aunt who needs me... Then a second call... My dad who needs me. So although it is not what I planned, it is my purpose for now to be there with them, if I choose to believe it was a sign.

Bad luck

Ever feel like ur stuck in a rut of bad luck? Not like your house is hit by a tornado twice but like your life peaked and your on a slow decent to nothing...

A limit on how many times you get dumped

I am starting to think there is a limit to how many times a person can get dumped before they are damaged goods. I don't mean the booty calls and purely Physical connections... I mean the heart broken crying sobbing break ups that take months or years to recover from.

If you are only ever "left" you may start to think you will always be left and therefore lose confidence and trust, two things that are vital to successful relationships... Or so many experts claim.

I think for each break up you should try to balance it with an intentional dumping of someone else to keep you balanced and not desperate to hold on to someone. What do you think?

Those who leave and those who are left....

Watching Eat Pray Love and just thinking... I wonder why is it the leaver always has these profound insights while the one left is always wondering why... People who get dumped get perpetually dumped. Perhaps you can only be one or the other in life... The leaver or the left behind.

Realized why boys avoid condoms

My dad and I were working on the sprinkler system which involves priming and gluing pipe. My dad made me wear these plastic/latex gloves to protect my hands and keep them from becoming purple. Well after about 10 minutes I took off the gloves and my hands were dripping wet with sweat. This made me wonder is this the reason guys dislike condoms... Because Their penis sweats?

These are all actually pretty true...

I was surprised at how many of these little secrets actually seem pretty "true" because they apply to me.

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/women_s_secrets/


They had another list about... is she a keeper... I thought I passed. Obviously I haven't met a guy that thinks I've passed.

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/right_time_for_marriage/

Maybe I should start reading Men's health for tips on being the "right" kind of girl.

This made me happy.

http://www.wimp.com/throwstick/

Realization and Regret

Okay, so today's post is going to be a little depressing. I have enjoyed doing things again, things I like to do. However, in doing these things and reflecting on my life, I realized that I have made some decisions I will finally regret. I didn't have many regrets, if any until recently.

I guess the saddest realization I have had of late is that I won't have children. I don't want them anymore. I am not sure I every really did. I like the idea of kids, but am too selfish and jealous to really be a good mother. They are so much work.

I dog sat a for a friend this weekend, and the 6 month old puppy helped me realize that I don't want kids anymore. I am happy for the people having children, but the idea of being pregnant and never having a break from being responsible for another person is exhausting.

However,what is most sad is that realizing that the main reason my relationship ended was supposedly because I wanted kids and he didn't. However, it was probably more than that. In the end, I have to accept I wasn't "the one" for him.

Have you ever dated a girl who has... would you marry a girl who has...

I really wish I had some guys to weigh in on this. I have some very important questions to ask, mostly because I was asked a very curious question the other day, "have you ever dated a girl?"

Now the truth is, no... I have never dated a girl. I haven't really had the opportunity to. I do find a number of women extremely attractive. In fact, my girl crush list is longer and more solid than my list of male crushes. For example based purely on looks:

Girls: Katy Perry, Zoey Deschanel, J-lo, Kate Bekinsale, Amanda Bynes, Mila Kunis... etc.
Guys: Channing Tatum, Brad Pit, Ryan Reynolds are about it for pure physical attractiveness.

Now, I have "kissed" a girl, not a real kiss, but kiss on the lips... it is quite nice... girls have soft lips. However, it doesn't feel "complete" only like fun. My relationships with men in the past have been fantastic in many regards and fulfilling. I know I am not a lesbian, but it made me start to wonder if I need to be more careful with talking about my "girl crushes" since people may get the wrong idea about me.

This then got me to thinking... would a guy every "marry" a girl who had dated a girl? I know there are plenty of guys who love the idea of a girl with a girl and would definitely "date" a girl who had been with a girl... but would they every marry her? This made me think I have to be even more careful because I will give myself two strikes if I even want to try it.

1. I was once engaged - already a major red flag to guys may mean I never get married
2. I've kissed a girl - "date-able" but does that mean I am "unwed-able"

What do you think?

Ha... I really am realizing I am going to be single forever. Oh well, there is a lot of fun in this world to be had.

Dogsitting....birth control

Sheesh, I dog sat my friends boxer this weekend, and I am now glad I don't have kids. They are so much work. Maybe it is just as I get older and older the less and less I want to work that hard or be responsible for someone else's behavior. I am tired, I had to get up at 5 am so I could take the dogs our for a walk before heading out for my 6 mile run. When I got back, I was exhausted and just wanted to take a nap... but the dogs wouldn't allow it. They wanted to play.

So sad... that it was hanging out with "dogs" that made me finally realize... I probably shouldn't have kids. Too bad I didn't realize this three months ago. Maybe I would have a different life.

Made in the USA - I challenge you!

I have to admit that I grew up in a hoome where my dad was adamant that we buy products made in the USA. I didn't necessarily understand it growing up, but now that I am a "older" and more aware, I have to admit I get it now.

My sister has been working and living in the middle east for nearly four years now. I have been to visit her a couple of times. In speaking with her and visiting the area, it is interesting to note how "aware" the population is of "where" exactly what they are buying comes from.

In the grocery market, each fruit or veggie has a specific sign that informs the buyer of where it was grown. Egyptian, Indian, Chinese... etc.

I have a challenge to issue, which my sister actually challenged me to do and which my dad has done for years. I challenge you all to try and buy products made in the USA... here is why:

Our economy sucks, we need jobs... America is based on "fake" money anymore we barely "make" anything because companies want to save $$$, which is why when the banks failed (fake product... fake money) our country spiraled downward. Buying items made in America keeps more money here in the USA.

Buying products made in the USA really does not "cost" a lot more. The difference is actually just a few cents in many cases, and in all honesty you end up with a better product much of the time that the few cents is worth it.

Now I know $$$ is important right now since we all need to save with gas prices rising, the job market still a challenge with high unemployment, and so many people are just "scraping" by. Try this... if you can't afford to buy a product made in the USA, just try to avoid buying products made in China. You will probably save hundreds if not thousands of dollars a year. You can't really walk in to a Dollar store to buy something that is not made in China (and really what is the "quality" of the product you buy from the Dollar store you just have to buy another one after just a few weeks).

Watch how much "less" junk, things you don't need, you buy if you avoid buying products made in China. The main reason... nearly everything is made in China.

Think of it like going on a diet, for most people if you cut out "one" thing like soda or fast food, you lose a few pounds almost immediately. Well, this is the same thing, it is kind of like a "spending" diet. I bet you will find it harder than you think it is. So I challenge you, buy things Made in the USA and avoid buying things made in China. You will see you "spend" a lot less and only buy things you really need (because you had to put the work in to find them made in the USA).

Bendy fingers...

Those of you who know me are aware that I have very "bendy" fingers. My pinky feels like it has no bones. Well, I have learned that there are disadvantages to these "bendy" fingers even though they are highly entertaining and useful for making people cringe.

My latest project has been putting together a drip system in my backyard. Well, bendy fingers make it very difficult to push together the tubing onto the little attachments. So, in all honesty my project that should have taken one day has now taken three. My fingers are now sore. Therefore, I am taking tomorrow off and decided I am going to go to Kickboxing class. I have never tried "real" kickboxing, so this is a new adventure. This is how I am going to "kick off" my month of being active/working out... if I am lucky I might actually wake up early tomorrow and workout before work... probably not... but maybe. We'll see tomorrow.

My three month plan

January was a hard month. I allowed a month of morning. I ate junk food, slept, and watched TV. I survived. I did start to do new things again, including the Fiesta Bowl, even though Stanford lost. I to redecorated my bed room to have a "new space" I played video games and didn't teach any classes. I really just existed. I forced myself to do happy hour every Friday and thanks to great friends I made it. I even completed a full marathon, 26.2 miles. I knew then, I can do anything... I just have to stick to it.

This second month of February,I focused on food. I didn't do perfectly but I did do better. I didn't eat entire plates of nachos or pizzas. I still had some fun with my family in town. My cousin is so grown and full of hope and ambition... I remember those days. I made it through Valentine's day shopping with my mom... I ate lots of egg whites. I still hung our with friends and spoiled myself buying my first COACH purse for myself, then ended the month with a bang with a friend's bday party. I found out just how much progress I made right now... I am not where I want to be, but I am getting closer. I am not ready yet... but I will get there.

Now we are at month three, time to get active. I have some project lined up and will focus on my physical self now. I start with a 10K and then spending time with great people at a baby shower. I am scheduling a kickboxing lesson, renewed my gym membership, am researching Kayaks because I learned I can take it into the lake near my house. I bought some tools to help me work on my fielding so I can get back in to softball. I am going to get my backyard done. I started putting together a temporary watering system on my own, = started my seedlings, and will enlist my Dad's help to put permanent watering in. I will start work on creating a wine cabinet/bar from an old cabinet with my uncle's help this week. Best of all, I bought a ticket to go to San Francisco for a long overdue visit!

Future plans..
Conquering fears: heights, needles, and riding a motorcycle.
Hiking Havasupai and the Grand Canyon...
Going on a first date...

Day 2 Abu Dhabi continued

I am so frustrated, I must have deleted my second part to describing day 2. Probably because mom and I were so lazy after the Spa. We literally came back to the apartment and slept a good part of the afternoon. I guess the "lavender" aroma therapy helped with Insomnia.

However, before the Spa we walked all around the Abu Dhabi Mall. This is a three story mall. Mom thought it was a really big mall. We saw all the Abaya shops and noted how it was very much like an American mall. All I could think about was what she would think when she saw Marina mall tomorrow.

We basically got dinner ready for Tricia and Sarah, a homemade enchilada dinner including sopapillas. I think it will be Tricia's favorite part of our visit.

Day 2 Abu Dhabi: Pictures of the Spa

Mom and me at the Spa Day! Check out how fancy this is. We had our own room for facials and massages. Look at these fancy duds, the robes were so comfy and the slippers nice.